His pubic hair was longer than his dick
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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