I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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