highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
