Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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