Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
