I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
