filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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