Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
