in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Someone came in the potted fern
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
