Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Randomize
