dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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