So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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