Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
