I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
