Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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