He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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