Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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