He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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