My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
