She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
