I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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