Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
