I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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