Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
