she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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