Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think i have two assholes
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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