i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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