ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I puked a lego.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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