Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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