sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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