I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
