Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
