Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just pee around me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
