im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
