I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
