I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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