Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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