If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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