Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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