Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
