If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
well you can't waste a boner
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
