Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
