I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't put those talents on a resume
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
