Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
