Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
