their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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