Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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