Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
