I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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