two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
