i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
