never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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