found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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