just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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