She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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