WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
