Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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