I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
