I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
