Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
