i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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