her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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