yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize