You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
