ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and she was petting her beer can
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
