I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
