just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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